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And for the first time

And for the first time , I write about myself , my anxiety , my life and succumbs in to the temptation of personification of me myself and I. But I do have valued reasons, yet still a guilt inside me kills in half that I am spending the next 20 minutes writing a personal article rather than one concerning this lost cause nation. Or have I lost complete hope in it.

Well after all, it’s not a personal essay; at least I have convinced myself after thinking for a minute or two. Recently I was subjected to blatant discrimination and ridicule when the post I deserved based on my credentials or hard work was given to an individual, who according to the higher ups could become great today while I may diminish in mediocrity. And I stared at the level of apathy and lack of interest on their faces as they announced a life changing decision and within seconds all my aspirations and dreams were brutally choked. I reflected on all my work and how less it was worth to those dready and power ridden eyes.
Have we lost emotions ? have we lost the general human courtesy to do justice? Have we lost every dignity? Has life made us so strong that now feelings and hard work are non-determining factors and only friendships and likeability factors dominate, while we bust our ass in achieving our aspirations? And the million dollar question Did I deserve all this?
It took me some time to realize that I did, I am a quiet Pakistani and I definitely deserved that. For years we have been dwindling in silence while we witness abuse ridicule and unfairness all along. We see favors being exchanged every single day. And not to mention our lack of ethical and moral sense for cheating and forging in our papers and projects.

Yet, still we claim to be the best in the world at whatever we do , the best nation on this planet, the savior of Islamic ummah. We were never great , we can never be great when a small leadership post is not given on hard work and potential but as a personal favour or image solidification. And not to mention Jobs and industries who solely rely on references and favours rather than hardwork and credentials. Our hiring process in most industries is based on outer looks rather that the capabilities of that individuals.

This discrimination leads to Hina Rabbani Khar being nominated as the foreign secretary , Sharmila Farooqi as the savior of Sindh  and various other notable good for nothing officials in the political and industrial structure. It is that image that Benazir Is worshiped for rather than her work which were very less indeed. It is this personification of individuals that has made Bhutto a hero , Nusrat Bhutto the queen and the assassinated president Zia the villan. How long will we accept this personification, till when we will accept Bilawal or others being imposed as our leaders and fights election from the most troubled constituency in Pakistan while he is in England enjoying with the white voluptuous babes.

As I stay quiet at the injustice so will u , and so will my society and thus Pakistan suffer.


  1. Pakistan Zindabad!
    i believe that today Pakistanis are just in an oblivion; not knowing where to go? what to do? what to even worship? they are in oblivion about their own identity because on one hand they are fed by Americans and their civilization dominates in influencing the minds of the people. On the other hand Hinduism is an impetus of many of our dogmatic ceremonies in the middle class people. And thirdly, we have our own religion to which we belong and fourthly it is the Indus valley civilization. each of these forces of influence let the people astray in finding their true governors. they are unable to extract moralities and values from any of these influences. I believe that our resolve for change for better human beings cannot evolve if we can not resolve on one thing that will decide our tradition, rituals, ceremonies and most importantly our civilization. and be it clear that if we decide this 'one' thing to be other than 'Islam' we will be wiped out from the face of this earth.

  2. We've always heard that hardwork gets paid. But sometimes, in fact, most of the times that doesn't seem to be true. Like in your situation you must be feeling very stupid for working extremely hard all this long and not getting paid for it in the end.
    This happens not only for promotions but also in things that are small for everyone else but big for you, for e.g. being given credit for what you worked for. Sometimes people don't realize who has been working and who hasn't.

    I've learnt that; although it may seem inappropriate to show off, after all you are being paid to work, you are not doing anything out of the ordinary; it is EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to "show" that you've been working, it's you who came up with the idea, it's you who put your heart and mind to it, it's you who deserves the credit. So even when they are promoting someone else, at least they know they are doing something wrong, at least they are unable to justify it to themselves even.


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