Tuesday, 12 June 2012

My Mother, I died ...


My mother I died , I died today with all my aspirations and belief and hope , I died today with a change in sight, I died today for you mom , I died today for Quaid, I died for those 180 million that didn’t care about me and I died because for me it was not a matter of their safety , their betterment, but only yours mom. Mom , I live in every city , in every district , in every village of yours.

Mom, I am the common man, the common soldier , the common teacher , the common blue collar employee , the common white collared employee , the common kissan, the common business man. There is only one thing common in all of us and that is common. We are all common and common is our love for you.
Mom , you may think that your more outspoken sons are your true representatives , you may think those loud mouthed separatist are from your womb , you may think you nursed all the terrorists , you may think you changed the diapers of all those corrupt individuals , and you may think that you called these traitors your son. No mother , they never were , they never are and they never will belong to you. But mom , I do , I still see heaven beneath ur old feet , I still see you becoming the greatest country in the world.
Mom, I am putting efforts day in day out for your betterment, though they may be insignificant , they may be small and they may be selfish on my part . Mom, I am that farmer that works 9 – 6 every day to earn an honest living and provide food for my family and contribute to this economic cycle. Mom, I am the CEO of the company that despite losses in the last two years, somehow is still producing products in this country. Mom , I am that peon in that group that despite all hardship , never misses a day of work since I need to feed my family but in reality I help you by contributing to your economic cycle. Mom , I am that failing student , that despite all odds wont cheat and prefer to fail or get low marks, Mom one day I will make you proud. Mom , I am that employee in an oil drilling company that works 20 days on field away from my home to earn good money for my family and make sure that my children study. Mom , I am that housewife that despite being uneducated all my life scolds my child for getting low marks and making sure he goes to school each day. Mom, I am that Massi (Sweeper) that works in two houses to earn a fair living and contribute to my family meager earnings. Mom I am that shopkeeper that tries really hard each day to keep prices in control in this hyper inflating environment. Mom , I am that café owner that despite having fixed deposits and all, refuses to close down my café since it will require firing your employees. Mom , I am that rairee wala in sadder , that pays bribe each day so that I can keep my stall in sadder , but trust me mom , that is my only alternative and it is better then stealing and curroption.  Mom , I am that doctor that despite having lucrative offers from private hospitals , still work at a government hospital . Yes I am rude at times , and sometimes I don’t do justice to my profession but mom I do try.

Mom , I am that police officer that does take bribe. Yes mom, I am your evil son , but trust me mother time has made me like this. I hate this Mom , I try to change each time but what to do.  You need to believe that I try my maximum to help , yes my salary is low and sometimes I do take it but believe me mother, I will change one day , when I can get rid of this system . Pray for me Mom.

Mom , I am that politician that you despise. Yes , you hate me I know it. I don’t really hate you . There is still a part in me that wants to work for you. I know I have done unspeakable things in chase of power. I have sold your dignity day in day out. Just before dying I realize my atrocities , forgive me mother. I never meant to be this awefull but circumstances and my own satans got the better of me. Mom , I will change some day , someday I will help your other sons , someday I will take a stand and sometimes mom I do , I do take good steps as you recently saw. Mom you need to pray for me.

Mom, I am the worst of the lot. I am the target killer/ extremist / drug dealer / Separatist etc . Mom , I have done harm to you , I know and maybe till now I am not in even sorry and to be honest I don’t care. You have been good to me , but do I really care mother.  I am too big a devil to come back , I now have a huge ego that wont let me revert.  Mom I know , I killed 1000 of your other good sons ,and I let you down day in day out . I happily slaughtered men , women and children alike.  I tortured those good for nothing policemen , but most importantly the common man.  Mom , I am not really ashamed even. Some in me however are , only brainwashed with anger and political dramas , but they share the equal blame.  I know mom , I am the root of the most evil , I have sold u day in day out , killed your good sons , and will break u in half with no remorse on my side.  I may have my reasons wihich you even know about , some are drone attacks ,some mental illness, sometimes money , sometimes injustice , and sometimes my need for separation. Mom I am too much down the road , foreign and internal forces have driven me this far that now I am not even ashamed. So Mom , I am that villan , you love to hate. 

Well, have we ever wondered what our mother thinks ? Does the blame only land with the last lot , the worst lot , blamed for everything . No dear it doesn’t , he is just an actor in a stage set by all of us , by all the hard workers, all my honest lovers who day in day out do something or other to fuel this fire. Day in day out you vote and support the corrupt politicians , who in turn feul the separatist and while it may sound ridiculous to the common man , you are the one to be blamed . When the common man gives its quiet support to sectarianism and ethnicism . When you vote for ethinic or curropt political parties , when you let 128 soldiers dies in siachen without even a sign of remorse , when you the common man say nothing about that child dying in Baluchistan and Sindh , when you the hardworking common man could riot about electricity but not riot about my sovereignty , when you the common man remain in your humble abode when 25 of my soldiers died in salala. When you the common man remains quiet at every Pashtun or muhajir killed in Karachi , when you the common man stays quiet at all the atrocities in Baluchishtan , when you the common man doesn’t support the peasant whose child is tortured ,raped daily at the hands of the feudal , when you the common man wants to create a province for your benefit , when you the common man wants discrimination between provinces ,cities etc, when you the common man in Lahore is whining at how ridiculous an ethnicity is in Karachi , and when you in Karachi whines about Punjabi domination. When you the common man , did not let his / her son /daughter marry in another ethnicity, when you the common man keeps prejudices , when you the common man discriminates on sects and ethnicity , and when you the common man in minority whines about atrocities on your own segment disregarding all others Pakistani that have dies , and when you the common man in majority gives your silent nod to the atrocities against minorities. And yes you the common editor of Express Tribune/ The News / Dawn that wont publish this blog , because some way or other you perceive this as less important then minority issues , gay /lesbian rights, women issues , acid , army , Judiciary bashing , PTI Bashing and support and obviously Zardari and Rehman Malik .

2 comments:

  1. Too many moms in there!

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  2. Salute u ...
    its a mirror shown to me and this nation ...
    very well written ...

    ReplyDelete